~T0msawyer

So, I was at some random record store. I found some good Hendrix and Blue Oyster Cult vinyl, but I was looking for something with a little more... Pizazz.

I can across a copy of the "altar" album, by Sunn o))) and Boris. Needless to say, I paid the $37 for it. and let me tell you all something. I opened it, and I found:

Three clear-vinyl records.
A cool description page.
Awesome Graphics.

And, the knowledge that I had purchased a most-likely limited edition of the best fucking drone album of all time. AND if that's not enough, Today I received the T-shirt that goes with the album in the mail, which i sent away for earlier.

It doesn't get much better than this.

Random thoughts and shit:

-Kyuss really needed more credit. I mean, they totally sparked interest in stoner rock, which, through a long-ass course of events, totally brought old heavy metal and rock back to the mainstream. And they didn't even get a song in guitar hero... or did they? I forget.

-Good thing they changed the name of that movie to "Godzilla" in America, because now the band Gojira can continue to tour and kick ass, without lawsuits. Though, I don't think lawsuits have been invented in France yet...

-Chuck Norris really isn't THAT badass. Try making a website about Dio or the Fonz, people.

-Rob Halford probably stayed "in the closet" for so long, because that's where he had all those cool leather outfits. By the way, I've decided that no straight man can dress like, or act like Rob. If they try to, they're a poser.

-How many jewish accents can you do? I'm legally Jewish, so i'm really good at them. I can do three: an old lady, a Rabbi, and my favorite, which i call "jewcifer." It's basically the loudest, whiniest, most obnoxious voice i can do. I should record it.

-WARNING TO SELF: avoid metalheads during halloween.
Why? because i'm dressing up as the zombie of dimebag darell. It'll work, 'cause i'll have long hair by then, i already have a goatee, and I'll dye it red. I just need lots of fake blood and that skin-wax, for the bullet holes and all that.

-I'm joining a band that my music teacher put together this summer, We're covering "Holy Diver".... I'm singing.

-Chuggo is amazing. (search him on youtube.)

MORE TO COME... when i feel like it.

So, I'm trying to start a blues-based, psychedelic, Sludgy, Doomy, old-sounding Heavy Metal band.

However, being the genre-elitist asshole that i am, I REALLY need a good name for exactly what we're playing....So, i searched and searched throughout my trusty iPod, and realized, that I want to start a stoner metal band, in the same vein as Electric Wizard, Sleep, and Bongzilla.... not to mention the faster-paced masters of the genre, such as Orange Goblin and Fu Manchu.

Problem is, being a stoner metal band isn't easy. I obviously can't just become a pothead, being a sober 16-year old with no, *ahem,* connections... BUT i can do the next best thing! I realized, that i need some sort of "credit" with the neo-hippies and "stoners" that will be enjoying our music... so, I just need some sort of way of being associated with them!

My Plan? I buy a bong!

I don't even have to use it, but as a stoner metal frontman, I'll easily fit right in with the scene. When asked if i'm a "stoner," or if I'm in a stoner metal band, I'll respond, "well, I have a bong!"

I'm a fucking genius.

SUPERMAN DAT HO!!!!

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As an early birthday present, my father just HAPPENED to offer to take me to a concert... A very special concert.

In other words, NEKO fucking CASE. at Lupo's heartbreak hotel, this friday.

Totally worth the hour-long drive, eh? This is my first non-metal concert in at least a year, and oh man, this is the perfect venue. I saw GWAR there the other month, it's really a nice place. great size and everything. I think this is going to be pretty damn awesome.

(Oh and yeah, my birthday is on monday. am i the only one that doesn't give a shit about turning 16?)